CHAPTER THREE

A Party Race and a Long Story

The creatures that gathered together on the bank—birds with their wet and messy feathers, animals with their fur sticking to them—were all dripping wet. They were angry, too, because they were uncomfortable and wanted to be dry.

Getting dry became the first topic of conversation. They talked for a little while about this, and after a few minutes, Alice started to feel more and more comfortable in their company. She felt that these were friends she had known all her life.

Unfortunately, she got into another unpleasant argument with the brightly colored Lory, who became very stubborn and would only say, "I'm older than you and must know better."

However, Alice didn't believe that the Lory was right. She did not know how old he was, and he would not tell her. She decided it was best just not to speak any more with him.

Finally, the Mouse, who seemed to be the group's leader, called out and said, "Sit down, all of you, and listen to me. I can make you dry quickly enough."

Quickly they all sat down in a large circle and the Mouse was left standing in the middle. Alice did not take her eyes off him the whole time, for she wanted to get dry and felt sure that if she didn't, she would indeed catch a bad cold.

"Ahem," said the Mouse, using an authoritative voice. "Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know." And thus he began such a long and boring story about English history that the whole group was nearly put to sleep.

"Ugh," said the Dodo, shaking his feathers.

"I do beg your pardon," replied the Mouse, who was quite unhappy that the Dodo had nearly fallen asleep. Still, he tried to be polite and asked, "Did you say something?"

"I'm sorry to complain, but I am still as wet as when I came to shore," the poor, bored Dodo explained. "I have an idea. How about having a party race?"

"What in the world is a party race?" inquired Alice after no one else said anything.

"Oh, it's—it's—like—a kind of meeting," said the unsure Dodo, who by now was walking around proudly and flapping his wings, trying to look important, too. "Yes, I know, it's—a meeting of people together who belong to a party. You know, it's similar to a political meeting. I heard it from someone once before, though I can't remember who it was."

"Well," said Alice, trying to get involved in the conversation. "There's quite a party of us here right now, certainly enough to have an election of sorts. But what, may I ask, is a party race?"

"I think the best way to explain it is just to do it," said the Dodo. Having spoken, he made a great flying leap at a branch from a flower bush and began to mark out a race course that looked awfully like a circle. Once he had finished this, the big bird made everyone in his party stand at various spots along the course.

Unlike other races Alice had been to, no one called out, "One, two, three, go!" but all the creatures on the shore started to run around. Then they stopped whenever they felt like it. Therefore, it was not easy for Alice to know when the race was actually over.

However, after they had been running for half an hour or so, they were quite dry again. Suddenly, the Dodo shouted, "The race is over!"

"But who is the winner?" all the birds and animals cried. Tired and out of breath, they crowded around him.

The Dodo was not able to answer this question without a great deal of thought, and he stood still for a long time with one feathered finger pressed upon his forehead while the party waited silently. At last the Dodo decided. "Everybody has won," he shouted, "and everyone is going to get a prize."

"But which one of us is going to present the prizes?" a voice cried.

"Why, Alice will, of course," said the Dodo, pointing at her. The whole party now gathered around Alice, calling out, "Prizes! Prizes!"

Alice didn't have the tiniest idea what to do, and as a last hope she reached into her pocket. She pulled out a handful of candy to pass around as prizes. Luckily, Alice was able to give exactly one piece to each of the runners in the race.

"But one moment! Alice doesn't have a prize herself, and she must have a prize because she took part in the race!" the Mouse declared.

"This is true," the Dodo replied very seriously. "Have you got anything else in your pocket?" he asked.

"Only this small tool I use for sewing," said Alice sadly.

"Give it to me," said the Dodo.

The animals all crowded around her once again, while the Dodo, in a grave manner, presented the sewing tool, saying, "We beg your acceptance of this beautiful thing." When he had finished, the animals all clapped and cheered for Alice.

Alice really wanted to laugh, because she thought the whole thing was quite ridiculous. But the little group all looked so serious that she did not dare to. Trying to look serious as well, Alice simply bowed and took back the sewing tool, for she could not think of anything to say.

Then the little group had to eat their candy. This caused quite a lot of confusion. The large birds complained that they could not taste their candy, and the little birds began to choke after eating theirs. A lot of creatures had to be patted on the back. However, soon it was over at last, and they again sat down in a circle.

"You promised me you would tell me all about yourself," said Alice to the Mouse, "and also explain why you hate cats and dogs." This last part she added in a whisper, half-afraid that the mouse would get angry again.

"Mine is a long and sad tale," said the Mouse, looking at Alice and sighing.

"You do have a long tail. I can see that," she answered, looking in wonder at the Mouse's tail. "But why do you say that your tail is sad?"

But the Mouse didn't pay any attention to Alice and began to talk. Alice was a little confused and so her idea of his story was something like this:

Anger said to a mouse, that he met in the house,

"Let us go to the law: I will judge you.

Come, I'll take no argument, we must have the trial,

For really this morning I've nothing to do."

Said the Mouse to the cat, "Such a trial, dear sir,

With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath."

"I'll be the judge, I'll be the jury,"

Said the cunning Old Anger,

"I'll try the whole cause and sentence you to death."

"I don't think you're listening to me," said the unhappy Mouse to Alice. "You've hurt me again by not paying any attention."

"I didn't mean it," said poor Alice, "but you are quite easily made upset."

The Mouse only walked away in reply.

"Oh, Mouse, please come back and finish your story," Alice called to him. Suddenly, all the other creatures said together, "Please do."

But the Mouse, as he was tired of their company, only shook his head and walked a little faster.

"What a pity he wouldn't stay," cried the Lory, now that the Mouse was out of sight.

An old Crab used the opportunity as a lesson for her daughter, saying, "Now my dear, let this be a lesson about why you should never lose your temper."

But the young Crab was an impolite child and replied, "Oh, please don't say anything, Ma. You're old enough to test the patience even of an oyster."

"I wish that Dinah was here with me," said Alice to no one in particular. "I know she would soon bring the Mouse back."

"And who is this 'Dinah'?" asked the Lory.

"Dinah's my sweet cat," Alice replied eagerly, and her whole face brightened as she spoke. "You can't even guess at how good she is at catching mice. And, oh, I wish you could see how good she is at chasing birds, too. Why, she'd eat a little bird as quickly as she'd look at it."

The speech did not have a good effect among the party of creatures. Some of the birds moved their wings nervously and flew away at once.

"Oh, it's time that I left and returned home," said one old Magpie, gathering her belongings together. "The, uh, the night air gives me a sore throat."

A canary called out to her children in a shaky voice, "Come along, children. I think it's your bedtime."

Giving various excuses, all the creatures left and poor Alice was once again all alone.

"Oh, I shouldn't have mentioned Dinah again," she said to herself sadly. "Nobody seems to like hearing about her down here, even though I know she's the best cat in the world. Oh, my dearest Dinah, do you think I shall ever see you again?"

Here poor Alice sat upon a tree stump and began to cry again. However, in a little while, she heard the soft sound of footsteps approaching in the distance. She looked up, hoping to see the Mouse coming back to finish his story.

(end of section)